The Pro-Life movement is often blamed for being inconsiderate and even hostile towards women who have had abortions or are considering them. Although this is typically fake news highlighted by pro-abortion news companies or even Planned Parenthood, there are certain individuals in the pro-life movement who have lost the idea of what it means to be truly pro-life. When we say we are pro-life, we mean we are pro- ALL LIFE. This means caring for and respecting every single living human being no matter who they are or what they've done. Especially the women considering abortion. She is vulnerable, as is the child that she is carrying. She is susceptible to the lies that are thrown at pregnant women from all different angles, and to the lie that she is worthless because she is carrying a child. She may be asked "How will you take care of this child?" or told that she isn't fit to be a mother. Although she may feel unfit or not have the resources to properly care for a child, it is our job, as pro-life people, to make sure that she is loved, cared for, and valued and that she gets the help and resources that she needs. There are many ways to do that, but different situations require different solutions. This post will highlight why women have abortions and how we can help women in those situations to do the right thing by choosing life for their child.
The PubMed.gov website gives some statistics for reasons why women have abortions You can read the full article at the link at the bottom of the page, but I'll summarize it here. The statistics show that the reasons that women have abortions vary, but most of the reasons are that:
~A baby would interfere with everyday responsibilities
~Could not afford a baby
~Did not want to be a single parent/ had relationship problems
~Younger patients said that they were not mature enough to raise a child, were afraid to tell their parents, or their parents wanted them to have an abortion
~Don't want people to know they're pregnant/ Afraid to tell partner
~Partner is forcing them to have an abortion
Here are some ways to help women in these situations and get them to the resources that they need.
Baby could interfere with everyday responsibilities (school, work, etc.)
If a woman tells you that she is considering an abortion because a child would interfere with everyday responsibilities, let her know that there are places and people that will help her out. Many towns have daycare centers and some college campuses even have them to help out women in school with families. If they have supportive parents or friends who are willing to help babysit until she can make better arrangements to take care of her baby, they could ask those people. If none of those options are available, adoption is a possibility. There are so many couples who are unable to conceive a child of their own and would love to have a baby to care for. Adoption relieves the woman of the stress of having a child to care for and gives another couple the chance to parent a child. Local hospitals can help with this process, as well as adoption agencies, both in-person and online.
Woman doesn't have the financial resources necessary to care for a child
Pregnancy resource centers help with this exact problem. Make sure you have the names and other information of one in your area when praying outside of an abortion clinic or at any other pro-life event. It could definitely come in handy! The main goal of the resource centers is to help moms to care for their children, both the unborn and the born. Many provide resources such as diapers, clothing, baby food, and other essentials for moms to help ease the financial challenges of having a child. Where I live, our pregnancy care center offers women resources in exchange for coming to educational sessions about parenting and caring for children completely free of charge. Most centers also provide support for women who have already had an abortion and are regretting their decision. You can Google "pregnancy resource centers in my area" to find the nearest one.
Do not want to be a single parent/has relationship problems
If a woman tells you this, reassure her that help is out there and connect her with a pregnancy resource center. They can help her to learn to care for her child as a single mother. Adoption is also an option. Make sure that she is not in an abusive relationship. If this is the case, make sure to get an adult involved IMMEDIATELY.
If the woman is under 18 and considering abortion...
Get her to a trusted adult that can help as soon as possible. Many teens do not tell their parents that they are pregnant. This is a huge problem. Many teens feel like their parents will not understand or will be angry with them. Reassure them that their parents will most likely want to help them out. They may be disappointed at first, but they will want to help. You could even offer to talk to them with her if you are allowed to. If it does end up that her parents refuse to help, direct the young woman to a pregnancy care center or another adult that will help her. The main goal when helping young women of this age group is to get them to an adult who can help them through their pregnancy.
Don't want people to know they're pregnant
Being pregnant is nothing to be ashamed of! Life is a miracle and miracles should not be kept a secret. If the woman is not married and is ashamed to be pregnant, reassure her that her baby is still a miracle. Every child, no matter who its parents are, is valuable. Women in this situation may have made a bad decision, but that does not mean that their child needs to die as a result of it.
Partner is telling them to have an abortion
Reassure the woman that NO ONE CAN FORCE HER TO HAVE AN ABORTION!!!! If their boyfriend or husband is forcing her to have an abortion, then she needs to get out of that relationship as soon as possible, or at least explain to him that she will not have an abortion, even if that means going against his wishes. Tell the woman that she is so brave to stand up to her partner and she will not regret having her child.
Other Circumstances:
Occasionally you will encounter a woman who is considering abortion because she has been sexually assaulted and found herself pregnant. The most important thing to do in this case is to let the woman know that she is loved and valued and get her to help right away. Make sure that she has told a trusted person what has happened to her and is getting the help that she needs. Let her know that her baby, even if conceived through terrible circumstances, is still a child and deserves to live. This is such a difficult situation, and extremely heartbreaking. Let the woman know that you care about her and that she is loved (and so is her baby!!). (There are hotlines available for people who have gone through this. If you or someone you know has been raped, use this link to find the phone number of a sexual assault helpline: https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline Praying for you!)
Some women will say that they are considering abortion because of health reasons. Know that there IS NO MEDICAL REASON THAT ABORTION IS EVER NECESSARY!!!! Abortion is not a woman's only choice, and if her doctor is telling her this, she needs to find a new doctor because that one does not know their facts. Watch this video made by a neonatal doctor that explains why abortion is never medically necessary: https://prolifereplies.liveaction.org/medically-necessary/
As someone who was born two months prematurely (2 months early) due to my mother's health conditions, I am living proof that premature babies can live great lives! It is so important that women know that there are options for themselves and their children when faced with life-threatening health conditions.
Other Tips:
-Make sure that the woman you are talking to knows that you care about her and her situation
-If you are a teen and talking to a woman in this situation, get her to an adult who can help before you do anything else. This is super important!!
-Try not to seem overly anxious or nervous around them. Let them know that everything is going to be okay.
-Offer prayers for her and her baby (Bonus points if you pray with her if she's comfortable with that!)
-Don't assume that the woman is pro-abortion, even if she is considering one. She may be feeling pressured to have one even if it goes against her beliefs.
- Let her tell you how she is feeling and about her situation. Don't make assumptions!!
Talking to women who are considering abortion is very likely to happen as a pro-life person. It could be in the grocery store, at school, at an event, or when you're praying outside of an abortion clinic. Make sure that you have the facts on hand so that you can encourage women to do the right thing and choose life for their child. Life is always the right choice in every situation. There are so many stories of women who have chosen life and never ever regretted their decision. It's amazing! We, as teenagers, may not be able to drive, vote, or do other things that adults can do, but we can definitely save lives :-)
Sources:
Students for Life Regional Trainings
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